Hello YushiroGowa.
The first thing I want to tell you is that there is no reason to be afraid. Here we judge the TASes, not the TASers. Also, I see that you have a very respectful attitude towards the rules, and I apprecciate that, but there is no need to go as far as not wanting to share your TASes anywhere. We highly encourage to share any movie file in the
userfiles space, as it has been specifically designed for showing incomplete or unoptimized TASes to other people, in order to gather opinions and ideas for improving. There are no requirements for the movies uploaded in the userfiles space, and no one is gonna get offended for suboptimal TASes.
1. Even unfinished works can be useful for other people. This is yet another reason why I suggest sharing unfinished movies or discussing your game knowledge on the forums.
2. Look, if you keep comparing yourself to the others, you will always find something in which they are better than you, it's perfectly normal. You can't expect to be better than everyone without first working on improving yourself. This requires patience, efforts, and trying many times. Maybe you won't reap the benefits immediately, but if you keep trying you will eventually reach your goals, no doubts.
3. I think that a good game choice is a game that you like to play casually. Are there games that you played a lot? Do you have favourite platform or a favourite genre? If you still have troubles, I could suggest some games to you.
4. As MESHUGGAH said, everyone has strengths and weakness, it's perfectly normal. Why don't you focus on things that come easier for you? This would give you greater results and satisfaction. Everyone has different talents, and sometimes you need to combine your work with someone else for obtaining the best results.
But if you still need to learn how to work with the RAM, I could help you. We can talk in IRC, Discord, or forum PMs.