1 2
6 7 8
Editor, Expert player (2328)
Joined: 5/15/2007
Posts: 3930
Location: Germany
I received a notification that has really upset me and took a lot of the hope I had left. I don't wish to get more detailed but I will agree with MUSHUGGAH's points: Life is not fair and blaming others is easy. I'm in a position where it is extremely difficult or impossible for me to create a better lifestyle or find something to do. I lack the "skills" to do so; I don't know how. People keep telling me, I could go do this or go to the lake or etc. but it is unfeasible for me to do those things alone. Often I sit at home at my PC just passing time and waiting for something good to come along, or for something I'm looking forward to (and much of what I was looking forward to is now gone). I keep thinking everyone and their families have a nice blast enjoying the holidays in another country while I sit here not knowing what to do, getting headache and eye problems from being at the PC too long and regretting that I'm getting older and older without reaching my goals. That's right. I have goals. I have a classmate friend that I talked about these goals with (own family, own car, own house, a job, being happy) and we talked about our perceptions of life. His was that he just deals with things as they come along, not thinking much about the future. Next September my education continues and it's going to be even more stressful and shit than it already was. I also still dearly miss the person that I lost. So yeah, just waiting here looking forward to how I can tell my classmates how this has been the shittiest summer holidays I ever had. Everything didn't go as planned. The person I wanted to meet with just doesn't message back anymore. And the places I wanted to go, I either got sick or it's not happening. The classmate friend and I actually planned to do something but it's not happening either. Everything got something going and I got nothing. -----
First of all, you need to figure out whether your parents want evil things to happen to you. It's common to think that they can't wish that, but I've seen tons of people who enjoy destruction for real, and they are indeed very destructive to the community they are in (more so if they have some power and authority there). People who have rejected morality do exist, and they do evil for fun. So yes, you need to determine if your parents are like that.
I think my parents are not evil, but they have little empathy. They are not very sociable. This leads into the second thing:
Second, you need to understand that them being so unstable means a lot of what they consider bad and scary (which in their eyes requires attacking, just because they fear it) is in fact not bad nor scary. They just don't know how to handle/resolve those problems they are seeing. It is correct to think that using attacks and threats instead of trying to actually resolve is bad. But what's the reason for that? The reason is that they are weak. They see something that can be solved with just a bit of empathy and comprehension, and they aren't used to that. They consider such things hard (or, conversely, weak), so they just use what they have left. Being afraid of being weak (and using methods that only make the problems bigger) is in itself a weakness. Every time I look at things from that perspective, I feel sorry for people that do bad things out of weakness. Each of us is weak in something after all!
I'm not sure I completely understand your point, but I can see that my parents lack in some "strategies for solving common problems". Such as, when I was in dire need of pears for a project next day and we didn't have any, I suggested that I ask our neighbors. My parents strongly advised against it saying it's too embarrassing and pulls our social standing down (as in, we cannot afford buying pears so we have to beg for some). This is one example of many.
Third, maybe their weakness if not related to rotten morality. It is also quite common to see people, that are generally sane, do absurd stuff, and then act normally again. In such cases, you just have to concentrate of what good they do, and try to avoid triggering their bad sides. I used that a few times IRL and on the web, and the results were quite nice.
My mother has what I call an "ambivalent personality", which for a long time I did not perceive as such. But it made more and more sense to me over the past years. At one time she is comfortable and nice to talk with, at another time she is being hateful and destructive. There is not really a trigger, it seems to just happen at random. I deal with it depending on the situation, but usually just avoid my parents altogether when I can by staying in my room for the entire day.
Site Admin, Skilled player (1250)
Joined: 4/17/2010
Posts: 11475
Location: Lake Char­gogg­a­gogg­man­chaugg­a­gogg­chau­bun­a­gung­a­maugg
Good. You have the proper understanding of the situation. Here is an important thing: when someone is not evil in nature, but still acts destructively at times, and this happens unpredictably, it means they deal with some mental hardships. There is something that tortures their soul and they can't help it. Like I said, each of us is weak in something, each of us does things that look reasonable, but end up being something we regret when we see the whole picture (usually years later). The very fact that we don't see this bigger picture initially, having to make mistakes, is related to mistakes made by other people. But here's the key: as long as a person doesn't have malintent, their mistakes must be tolerated. Feeling sorry for people who don't know better ways to behave is not just the only way to become friends with them, it also "magically" teaches us proper actions and reactions that would make their life easier. We may not have control over their bursts of negativity, but if they feel our compassion, they will at least try not to hurt us.indiscriminately. Only understanding each others hardships can return peaceful intentions.
Warning: When making decisions, I try to collect as much data as possible before actually deciding. I try to abstract away and see the principles behind real world events and people's opinions. I try to generalize them and turn into something clear and reusable. I hate depending on unpredictable and having to make lottery guesses. Any problem can be solved by systems thinking and acting.
Publisher
Joined: 4/23/2009
Posts: 1283
This may be a hard article to read, but I just found this out today and found it helpful: Warning: May be really hard, if it's not helping, don't read it. http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
Editor, Expert player (2328)
Joined: 5/15/2007
Posts: 3930
Location: Germany
For my school education, I'm in a 6 week long internship which started 4 days ago. I'm trying to do a really good job, prepare for everything, take notes and write a good report for my school. But the way they treat me at work, I basicly feel like I'm on the receiving end of bullying by my own supervisor/advisor and it couldn't even be resolved during a thorough 4-person conversation we had today. It's shattering me. Grades are important to me and this person is threatening to give me the worst grade possible, for not "playing by their rules", for not being part of the team, and a whole lot other crap which is either incorrect or I do not understand it. It does not matter what I say or do, because I will be the loser. I'm basicly toilet paper to this supervisor person.
Publisher
Joined: 4/23/2009
Posts: 1283
Hang in there, there will be better days ahead!
upthorn
He/Him
Emulator Coder, Active player (391)
Joined: 3/24/2006
Posts: 1802
One of the most difficult things about depression is that, even when there are clear environmental causes, if they last long enough, the brain will physically adjust to expect them all the time, which can make recovery a hard process even once the root causes are no longer present. This does not, however, mean that recovery is impossible. It just means that you should not hesitate to seek out professional help if you find that getting into a better situation doesn't make you feel as much better as you expect it to.
How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.
Editor, Expert player (2328)
Joined: 5/15/2007
Posts: 3930
Location: Germany
Thank you for your replies. I'm not sure you could say this is about depression, but it is about frustration and about fear and feeling treated unjustly. I think that I have become more resilient to bad influences and circumstances, but lately bad influences and factors have accumulated and become more serious. I need transparency and clarity, both of which my school lacks. I tried building clarity for myself by organising myself: I have an overview of what needs to be done to fulfill the school's requirements for this internship (the report is quite a big task and involves taking lots of notes). Now in this internship, there is no clarity. I'm not allowed to take notes. I cannot get hold of my supervisor/advisor to discuss what I should be doing or what they expect of me. I cannot even tell him that I need clear instructions. He indirectly insulted me (and the school, basicly saying "I'm an idiot and the school teaches nonsense"), he yelled at me and there is one other pretty serious thing (an accusation) that I will not further describe here. There is seemingly nothing I can do about it except ignore the problems and see it through, or stop. If this internship stops (or fails), there is no alternative: The education will most likely be halted (meaning I have to start the year over next September, and possibly run into the same or other problems again). It will come down to "sitting around" at home or visiting a clinic again, both of which I do not want. I will never go back to the clinic because I know how it was. It does not solve depression. I remember the long months of crying through the days in self pity. I'm hurt by this person and I'm scared of what will happen. I cannot even really report these problems back to my school, because it may lead to my tutor phone calling the facility and escalating everything into cancellation. That does not mean that I can't report these problems back at a later point though.
upthorn
He/Him
Emulator Coder, Active player (391)
Joined: 3/24/2006
Posts: 1802
My father is dying, of a combination of ALS and Leukemia. Both of which are miraculously slow in progress as he has had them both for longer than I have been alive, and he is still alive, still just barely above the line of wheelchair bound. Observing him physically destroy himself to take care of my basic needs as a small child, has left me with the persistent sense that my mere existence is actively poisonous to those around me. He is on hospice, and I am living with him and my mother, partly to provide support with basic menial tasks like grocery shopping, and partly because of my own financial situation being unable to afford to live elsewhere. He is dying, and I can't stop it. But it's slow, and nobody can even guess if it's on the order of a couple weeks or a couple of years. We are all emotionally exhausted, and trying our hardest to help each other, rather than hurt. But we keep failing, so badly, and I don't know what to do.
How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.
greysondn
They/Them
Joined: 4/29/2018
Posts: 44
The recent drama is probably not in great taste to talk about. I don't care to go into depth about it; it's more the things it reminds me of. I thought about talking at great lengths about this in the Discord, and it ends up being I dump this here, I guess. Usually under this identity I don't talk about my life, but probably it only makes sense to do so after I went out of my way to make myself not just the awkward mess I usually am but obscenely visible and in the fray. I don't get people. I mean, I do - I can take someone's psychiatric papers and a few hours of stories about them and make reasonably good predictions on what they'll do, and I guess that's "I get people" to most people. But I also don't understand why reasoned conversation and what seem to me like straightforward expectations and conclusions are hard to communicate and seem to be received, and I can't decide if it's me or just how humans are. Think I was like 12, 13 when it became apparent that my brain was fundamentally odd in the way that made understanding computers absurdly straightforward for me. Cold binary logic - not great, but at least it doesn't make me cry. And even now that process of reducing things to structured logic is my fallback when I can't convey what I'm saying to people. That's not to say I'm some whiz kid or thebestthebestthebest - Frankly, I admire you lot for your abilities, collectively, at understanding the underlying architectures that many video games are built on, to the point of ACE or lag reduction being something halfway between science and art when I'm hearing it. To hear someone that I would expect to be, you know, a lay person (at least in regards to microprocessor architecture) discussing a buffer underflow and what it ultimately means for falling quickly is something that means a lot to me just in "here's something I can actually connect to". I'm in my late 20s now. Let's be fair and say for 15 years I've struggled with interacting with people. Were it not for the few oddballs and close friends I've made over the years, I'd not have many people, I think, in my life anymore. As it is I'm gifted with enough close friends to not feel overly lonely - something that apparently is incomprehensible to most people who talk to me - that I actually have friends that genuinely like me and that we would share any joy in each others lives. Probably people from the recent conversations will be here, or on a later date this will be dredged up and "oh, look at his pity party for the audience of one". And that's okay. I've seen it enough times to enough people in enough places that I expect it. About all I have to say about the "it" of this post and what's bugging me is that it's just something that hurts for me at a human level, and that I struggle to convey well (I doubt I am even now). I don't expect people to "take it easy on me" or "give me a free pass". I'm not "chucking out a victim card". I've struggled with it to the point I've decided this is who I'm going to be. People are irrational and often frightening, overall, to me. Computers... don't hurt my feelings for reasons I struggle to comprehend. Computers... don't hold grudges because I did something that I can't comprehend being wrong based on the principles we often claim to live by. Computers... didn't do a lot of things to me that I'm trying hard to keep out of this post because I could write a novel of all the reasons I don't trust people before we even talk about what I am talking about here and now. Oh, I get frustrated at code, don't get me wrong. I get frustrated often that codebases don't do what they say they'll do in documentation. And I file those error reports and I scream into my hands and I create another trainwreck by just asking what is wrong with it. "Oh well". I get less frustrated and more wounded with people. To think I'm hateful - in any sense - is usually wrong. I try hard to make my feelings and thoughts abundantly clear. I - to all appearances - fail at this. Hatred is rare for me - hatred is a very active emotion and I just don't have that kind of energy. I am more likely to completely forget someone existed than spend my time going "oh, that horrible so-and-so, oh how I hate them, ohhhh, they make me drink!" That is not to say I think I am a generally loving person, either - I think I am, you know, a person. Some things I like, some I don't, some people I like, some I don't, and so on and so forth. I just don't get how I have this knack for disentangling people's problems but - while often people come to me for that - I don't have any ability at all in getting along with them over sustained periods of time. This - too - is okay. I've tried to act "normal" before. I just am not. I just can not. So I don't. And besides that, when I did, I just felt... plastic. Integrity, as much as people claim to hold it as a value, seems to be undervalued if it means "oh, but you're not in on the whole social system thing we got going here". "Everyone is special and valued - except for you, you weirdo". So on. I also don't get how I can fight to embody, as much as I can manage - with how incredibly awful I apparently often manage, sure, that's fair - things that I thought were supposed to be valued and feel like all that makes me the bad guy, time and time again. Where the mistake is I am not sure, and while I could write a political treatise on the matter I wouldn't be able to bridge the gap between "I thought I was doing the right thing" and "I tried really hard not to make anything overly personal without cause". I don't have the heart to look over logs for where I failed and slipped an ad hominem in anymore. Countless times looking tell me that I generally don't, or that it's so minor as to be incomprehensible to see people's responses, like I shot their beloved pet instead of ("only") stating that they were being foolish. Or else that's what it devolved to and the argument I'll have with myself will then quickly become "Han shot first!" levels of back and forth. It's not worth losing a week I could be writing code. This has run long already. And really I was checking on the stuff that I was involved in and posted here more on "well, it's something that's bothering me and I may as well" over anything else. Don't lose any sleep over any of it. I've been living like this for most a decade now at the least, and even as I type this I have an episode of Family Guy loaded on one monitor and my code and API docs on the other. I do, you know, whatever - a talent developed from years of realizing that I'm not going to "solve" anything in some categories of my own understanding no matter what I do, so I may as well accept that much and just lay my hands where I feel I might - with a little luck - be able to solve something. It hurts only when I think about it or I'm reminded of it strongly enough I can't help but think of it, and I think it's fairly human to say that I just try not to do that and to just do my work and push it away if I feel nothing good can come of it. (Why I get my hopes up about people at times still baffles me, granted, in response to what seems like the natural point to raise there.) And besides - the world is full of fascinating problems just waiting to be solved. Be well, thanks if you read this much, and stay warm if you're reading this roughly when it was written.
Active player (312)
Joined: 2/28/2006
Posts: 2275
Location: Milky Way -> Earth -> Brazil
Why worry about things you can't change, though? Just look around you and find stuff that you CAN fix, then go there and fix it. Even if it's something small it's already an improvement. You are already making your life and maybe even someone else's a little less painful.
"Genuine self-esteem, however, consists not of causeless feelings, but of certain knowledge about yourself. It rests on the conviction that you — by your choices, effort and actions — have made yourself into the kind of person able to deal with reality. It is the conviction — based on the evidence of your own volitional functioning — that you are fundamentally able to succeed in life and, therefore, are deserving of that success." - Onkar Ghate
Bisqwit wrote:
Drama, too long, didn't read, lol.
greysondn
They/Them
Joined: 4/29/2018
Posts: 44
I figured I wouldn't get it across well. There are many things in that post, but the main one can be reduced to something like this: 1. Life would be better and interactions with "ordinary" people would be better if I would [x]. 2. Evidently, despite the fact I don't grasp why people would expect [x] or what [x] precisely is, society expects its members to [x]. 3. It appears due to some reasons - some chosen, some born in - I cannot [x]. 4. I have attempted at least what strike me as aspects of [x]. If they were fundamental requirements to [x], I reject them outright. 5. Normally this doesn't bother me; although not being able to [x] does isolate me, it doesn't isolate me in a way that I generally let myself dwell on, and not to an extent that I'm completely alone. 6. Recent events seem related to [x] in how people have reacted to what I thought was doing the right thing, and it reminded me of more than half my life of such scenes, and so it kinda drew me to thinking about it. 7. [x] only bothers me when I think about it. I usually don't. 8. Don't worry about me and [x], because I've been struggling with this for a long time and I have come to terms with it for the majority of what my life entails. 9. And be well and be warm. Past experience in this conversation tells me this won't make me much clearer, but it may help at least to see the structure. This is not one that can be cut to a simple structure because I have to come about it "around the bush", not knowing precisely what I'm trying to get at. (And not knowing precisely what I'm trying to get at is - in itself - half the problem.) There will not be a third post on this.
Active player (312)
Joined: 2/28/2006
Posts: 2275
Location: Milky Way -> Earth -> Brazil
I'll just leave this PROTIP here: Link to video
"Genuine self-esteem, however, consists not of causeless feelings, but of certain knowledge about yourself. It rests on the conviction that you — by your choices, effort and actions — have made yourself into the kind of person able to deal with reality. It is the conviction — based on the evidence of your own volitional functioning — that you are fundamentally able to succeed in life and, therefore, are deserving of that success." - Onkar Ghate
Bisqwit wrote:
Drama, too long, didn't read, lol.
Site Admin, Skilled player (1250)
Joined: 4/17/2010
Posts: 11475
Location: Lake Char­gogg­a­gogg­man­chaugg­a­gogg­chau­bun­a­gung­a­maugg
I must share this! The way I see freedom he's talking about here, freedom is not having to depend on things stronger than you are. Link to video
Warning: When making decisions, I try to collect as much data as possible before actually deciding. I try to abstract away and see the principles behind real world events and people's opinions. I try to generalize them and turn into something clear and reusable. I hate depending on unpredictable and having to make lottery guesses. Any problem can be solved by systems thinking and acting.
Experienced player (682)
Joined: 2/5/2012
Posts: 1792
Location: Brasil
Upthorn, you have my empathy, there are things we cannot change and it saddens me when people bring self help mumbojumbo to situations like yours. There is simply no bright side for some things, and even if there was, there's no point in making yourself more miserable for not being able to turn things better. Allow yourself to be sad, to cry and i hope you can find solace in whatever is good in your life. Hold on to your friends, family, love or whatever you can find comfort in. I also hope my message can give you strength to keep being able to find happiness in life again and again,even if things may seem bleak right now.
I want all good TAS inside TASvideos, it's my motto. TAS i'm interested: Megaman series, specially the RPGs! Where is the mmbn1 all chips TAS we deserve? Where is the Command Mission TAS? i'm slowly moving away from TASing fighting games for speed, maybe it's time to start finding some entertainment value in TASing.
Editor, Expert player (2328)
Joined: 5/15/2007
Posts: 3930
Location: Germany
I wish I knew how to make myself independent from my parents. My parents always find ways to make me feel worthless and suicidal. They know what buttons to press to abuse me emotionally... I also wish some place would give me a job next year. I'm only receiving rejections. At this point, it looks like I might stay at home the whole next year, feeling regret, feeling sorry. The latter part I have little control over. If nobody wants to give me a place to work, then I can't god damn work.
Editor, Expert player (2328)
Joined: 5/15/2007
Posts: 3930
Location: Germany
Continuing from my previous message: I have found a job for next year which I'm very happy about. The search was very tedious and I was almost giving up, but I guess the journey continues. The situation with my parents still goes on. My father wants to do everything in my name for me. I can't learn how to stand up on my own feet. My mother buys clothes for me and starts emotionally hurting me when I don't want them. It is similar with my father when I want to do things my way. It's like he hates my ways, because he has no control over it. He would then say I'd know everything better anyway... But thanks to my psychologist and also the book recommendation by SSBMstuff, I can slowly become more independent and detached from those emotions. It is not my problem that my parents can't cope with "no"s. I still feel bad, but I'm trying my hardest to not let it get to me. There are plenty of things that aren't going as planned recently, mostly has to do with people not wanting me to be with them, or events that I've been looking forward to for the whole year and I'm not invited to them. So like the previous summer, I feel like "everyone is doing fun stuff together, but I'm left out". It's not as bad this time, since I got some stuff to do and places to go here and there. But yeah...
Site Admin, Skilled player (1250)
Joined: 4/17/2010
Posts: 11475
Location: Lake Char­gogg­a­gogg­man­chaugg­a­gogg­chau­bun­a­gung­a­maugg
That's good to hear (or read). As a human being every one of us has unalienable, objective needs. When those needs are being ignored, when natural strive is being depressed, the human nature suffers. Now, when someone doesn't want to stop causing someone else's suffering (regardless of rhethorics), it's a serious situation to consider. Knowing your nature and loving it, caring about it in a reasonable way is the only way to happiness. And happiness is the only way to loving others, as a result of knowing other people's nature too, knowing that we all have it in common. So yes, understand your highest natural priorities, your absolute needs, and reasonably prefer them to whatever other people's will may be. Without being straight and reasonable about it you won't make your will stronger. And will is the only way to connect the whole personality together.
Warning: When making decisions, I try to collect as much data as possible before actually deciding. I try to abstract away and see the principles behind real world events and people's opinions. I try to generalize them and turn into something clear and reusable. I hate depending on unpredictable and having to make lottery guesses. Any problem can be solved by systems thinking and acting.
Active player (312)
Joined: 2/28/2006
Posts: 2275
Location: Milky Way -> Earth -> Brazil
MUGG wrote:
Continuing from my previous message: I have found a job for next year which I'm very happy about. The search was very tedious and I was almost giving up, but I guess the journey continues. The situation with my parents still goes on. My father wants to do everything in my name for me. I can't learn how to stand up on my own feet. My mother buys clothes for me and starts emotionally hurting me when I don't want them. It is similar with my father when I want to do things my way. It's like he hates my ways, because he has no control over it. He would then say I'd know everything better anyway... But thanks to my psychologist and also the book recommendation by SSBMstuff, I can slowly become more independent and detached from those emotions. It is not my problem that my parents can't cope with "no"s. I still feel bad, but I'm trying my hardest to not let it get to me. There are plenty of things that aren't going as planned recently, mostly has to do with people not wanting me to be with them, or events that I've been looking forward to for the whole year and I'm not invited to them. So like the previous summer, I feel like "everyone is doing fun stuff together, but I'm left out". It's not as bad this time, since I got some stuff to do and places to go here and there. But yeah...
This looks relevant Link to video
"Genuine self-esteem, however, consists not of causeless feelings, but of certain knowledge about yourself. It rests on the conviction that you — by your choices, effort and actions — have made yourself into the kind of person able to deal with reality. It is the conviction — based on the evidence of your own volitional functioning — that you are fundamentally able to succeed in life and, therefore, are deserving of that success." - Onkar Ghate
Bisqwit wrote:
Drama, too long, didn't read, lol.
Former player
Joined: 6/30/2010
Posts: 1107
Location: Zurich, Switzerland
There was a bit I wrote during the (now moved) discussion that seemed to have been uncontroversial and at least one user found helpful, so I figured I'd post it again: Okay, let's talk about that for a minute, self improvement and blaming others for your problems. Trying to become a better person is a good thing, you can't externalize everything. But I would be careful with that philosophy, it can turn into self-loathing. I've seen way too many people doing that, especially on the autism spectrum, blaming themselves for everything. If people have to deal with things like bullying, self improvement is not the primary advice you want to give them. Sometimes, it's more healthy to not blame yourself, as a form of protection. It's all about finding that balance between the two.
Current project: Gex 3 any% Paused: Gex 64 any% There are no N64 emulators. Just SM64 emulators with hacky support for all the other games.
EZGames69
He/They
Publisher, Reviewer, Expert player (4456)
Joined: 5/29/2017
Posts: 2761
My father got sent to the hospital yesterday. It put me in a really depressing mood and lots of things went through my mind. Ironically it came a few days after we talked about how he won’t be around forever and this news understandably put me under alot of stress. I felt like I have been too hard on him over the last few years and that I dont tell him enough how much I love him. I am not ready to see him go yet and I still struggle to do things without both him and my mom. I have not lived independently yet and at 22 years old, I still have no idea what to do when my parents aren’t around to support me anymore. I’m very lucky to still have them around but I also feel selfish for not doing enough to be independent. My dad being sent to the hospital is just a wake up call for me to get my life together, and to realize that I need to start learning how to live on my own. Now the good news is he isn’t in serious condition, but even the fact that he’s in the hospital right now as I type this is alot to process.
[14:15] <feos> WinDOES what DOSn't 12:33:44 PM <Mothrayas> "I got an oof with my game!" Mothrayas Today at 12:22: <Colin> thank you for supporting noble causes such as my feet MemoryTAS Today at 11:55 AM: you wouldn't know beauty if it slapped you in the face with a giant fish [Today at 4:51 PM] Mothrayas: although if you like your own tweets that's the online equivalent of sniffing your own farts and probably tells a lot about you as a person MemoryTAS Today at 7:01 PM: But I exert big staff energy honestly lol Samsara Today at 1:20 PM: wouldn't ACE in a real life TAS just stand for Actually Cease Existing
Publisher
Joined: 4/23/2009
Posts: 1283
I hope your father gets well soon and I wish you luck on finding your own path.
Player (79)
Joined: 7/7/2008
Posts: 873
Location: Utah
I'm not really sure why I'm on here, but I couldn't find any good answers anywhere else. Last month, I screwed up badly and committed a hit-and-run. I hit a parked car as I slid into it due to snow that was falling. I didn't have a note to leave, so I panicked and kept driving. But it was caught on camera. An officer came to me and gave me a citation and just today, I appeared in court. I have another date next month to negotiate a lesser penalty, but the penalty for a class B misdemeanor looks pretty bad. It's not just a pricey fine, but at worst, there might be some jail time. I doubt there'll be jail time, but I'm still horrified by the whole thing. I've been severely depressed by this whole ordeal. I have no idea how to deal with this, and I don't know anyone that has experienced this like I have. I just want to lock my bedroom door and shut myself away from the world. What should I do? What's going to happen to me? These questions haunt me and I don't know what to expect anymore.
Publisher
Joined: 4/23/2009
Posts: 1283
I'm not sure what I say will be comforting, but I'll try. Don't be so hard on yourself. You made a mistake, and fortunately no one was injured. While the charges does seem overly harsh, I'm sure a good lawyer can get the penalty to be as small as possible as it was an accident and you panicked. A misdemeanor is only a minor crime. It's not a felony. I hope this helps.
EZGames69
He/They
Publisher, Reviewer, Expert player (4456)
Joined: 5/29/2017
Posts: 2761
I found a comic on Reddit today that shows common signs of undiagnosed ADHD, and how that can lead to some forms of depression. I have personally related to each one of these experiences, and I believe it has caused issues with my life as a whole. That’s not to say this is the only way some may experience depression, but it does personally speak to me as someone who does suffer from high functioning autism and ADHD.
[14:15] <feos> WinDOES what DOSn't 12:33:44 PM <Mothrayas> "I got an oof with my game!" Mothrayas Today at 12:22: <Colin> thank you for supporting noble causes such as my feet MemoryTAS Today at 11:55 AM: you wouldn't know beauty if it slapped you in the face with a giant fish [Today at 4:51 PM] Mothrayas: although if you like your own tweets that's the online equivalent of sniffing your own farts and probably tells a lot about you as a person MemoryTAS Today at 7:01 PM: But I exert big staff energy honestly lol Samsara Today at 1:20 PM: wouldn't ACE in a real life TAS just stand for Actually Cease Existing
Banned User
Joined: 3/10/2004
Posts: 7698
Location: Finland
When it comes to things like "ADHD" and "high-functioning autism", one should be careful about over-diagnosis and misdiagnosis. After all, there is no lab test for those things. It's not like they could take a blood sample and test it, or put you in an MRI machine and show that yes, you have it. Diagnosis is based on subjective interpretation of a person's behavior and personality. It oftentimes ends up being the opinion, perhaps even guess by the physician that based on a list of matching characteristics a child has one of those (or a myriad of other things). That's not to say that those things aren't real psychological phenomena. It's just that they oftentimes tend to be so nebulous and diagnosis based on so much interpretation that misdiagnosis is an ever-present danger. (I think it's rather telling that in some countries "autism" and "ADHD" are diagnosed orders of magnitude more often than in others. I have never heard any explanation about why such a huge difference between countries.) I have seen people with alleged "high-functioning autism" whose only "problem" to me seems to be a bit of social awkwardness. They may be quite smart and knowledgeable, be able to hold a completely normal intelligent conversation, be able to keep their attention in the current situation and conversation, understanding everything that's being said and being able to respond to everything, and they may be quite skillful and knowledgeable about certain things like hobbies... but they might be a bit socially awkward, sometimes make a fool of themselves, make gaffes and so on. If a bit of social awkwardness and making a fool of oneself from time to time in social interactions were a sign of "high-functioning autism", then there would be hundreds of millions of them in this world. Again, I'm not saying it's not a real thing. I just have my doubts in some cases. I don't really know what the difference really is between "high-functioning autism" and introversion and lack of social skills (which are really common traits). Fastidiousness, laziness, being a workaholic, being a pathological procrastinator, often becoming enthusiastic about a new project but becoming quickly bored of it and never finishing it... All these are quite common traits among human beings. I'm not sure anything can be "diagnosed" from them. Of course regardless of what the underlying cause is, depression is always a problem, and it can be crippling. Even completely normal healthy people can get seriously depressed sometimes, for whatever reason, or no reason at all. I would guess introverts might get depressed a bit more easily than socially-experienced extroverts, but the latter are not immune either. (Heck, some of the most extrovert people out there may have the worst possible depression episodes imaginable, up to the absolutely worst possible outcome.)
1 2
6 7 8