It's time to go postal!
Postman Pat and the Greendale Rocket is a 2006 Game Boy Advance game based on the 2003 half-hour television special of the same name. (How did it take three years in between, though? Beats me.) The plot follows the eponymous postal worker as he embarks on an epic quest to seek the holy grail save the Greendale railway from closure and get its flagship locomotive back on the tracks.
This movie completes the game from beginning to end as fast as possible, while collecting all of the stamps, letters, and parcels scattered throughout the levels. Speedrun, eh? More like a speed-walk, am I right? Eh? ... Eh? Okay, I'll stop.
The game consists of five levels, each containing three stages labelled A, B and C. Each of the 'A' stages is a sidescroller sidestroller where Pat must walk and jump his way to the end while avoiding hordes of...
Spyro: Hey, Egix! I thought you said you'd stop with the puns?
Me: ... Did I?
Spyro: I'm pretty sure you did.
Me: Let me just set something straight, okay? Postman... Pat... can't... run. But I know who can... and that's you! Get back to charging over those glowing chevrons!
Spyro: Groan! Okay...
Anyway, where was I? Oh, here we go.
The 'B' stage in each level is a short minigame (ranging from sorting items into sacks, through to stamping letters and parcels), and the 'C' stage is a...
Dio: Ha-ha! You were expecting all these boss battles... but it was me! Driving stage!
Me: Shut up, Dio! Nobody likes you! Everybody left you!
Spyro: Er... Egix? There's a 'Mr Billie Joe' on the phone here. He says he wants his song lyrics back.
Me: What are you doing on that phone anyway? Get back to exercising!
Spyro: Snort! Fine...
Right, as I was saying, the third stage in each level features a boss battle, where, in true Robot wants Puppy style, Pat must defeat the boss by throwing his black-and-white cat, Jess, at it.
Jeremy: That's racist. Ding!
Me: No, no, no! She's both black AND white! See? Not racist at all!
Jeremy: What if I told you... Jess is actually a 'he'?
Me: My whole life has been a lie!
Sigh... What does it take for a guy like me to run a presentation without being interrupted by random people? That's it. I'm going to run through all the level titles without giving any descriptions!
Level 1-A: Find Mrs Goggins!
Level 1-B: Sort the objects to find the 6 parcels!
Level 1-C: Defeat the Big Lipped All-
Dio: Za Waarudo! Toki yo tomare!
Me: ... Huh? Oh, snap.
I become frozen in time.
Dio: What did I tell you before? Driving stage! DRIVING STAGE!
Upon hearing Dio's voice, Spyro immediately stops in his tracks.
Spyro: Oh, no... Egix!
The sound of stomping is heard in the distance.
Me (thinking): Well, this just went from bad to terrible, didn't it?
Spyro: It's too late! He's already invoked the Big Li-...
A booming voice comes rumbling down the corridor.
BLA: Let's make music together, mother-lover!
Spyro: Quick, Dio! Unfreeze Egix!
Dio: ... Hmm... Fine. Soshite, toki wa ugokidasu!
I become able to move again.
Me: Hurry, guys! He's coming!
The Big Lipped Alligator comes running around the corner, singing his song as he advances. Dio, Spyro, and myself begin to run away. Spyro, using the power of the nearby Supercharge Lane, is able to escape, but Dio and I, being non-dragons, are left without this luxury.
Dio: Darn! He's catching up!
Dio stops, and turns around.
Me: Dio, no!
Dio: ZA WAARU - Urgh!
The Alligator grasps Dio in his powerful arms, and hoists him up towards his mouth.
Voice: Not so fast!
A figure suddenly drops down from the ceiling between myself and the Alligator. He is clad in an unmistakable blue uniform. It is...
Me: Oh, my gosh! Postman Pat! It's really you!
Pat: Hurry on, lad! Save yourself!
As I begin to flee, Pat opens his postal sack, and withdraws Jess from inside.
Pat: Looks like it's time to let the cat out of the bag. Begone, foul beast!
The postman throws his cat towards the Alligator's face. As Jess's claws cling on tightly, the 'gator drops Dio in a blind panic. Once Dio is back up on his feet again, he runs away after Pat.
Dio: Wait! What about your cat?
Pat: He's the alligator's problem now. There's no time to waste - we've got to get out of here...
Pat, Dio, and myself exit stage right. The curtain falls.
TO BE CONTINUED... ?
Samsara: so when you say "greendale rocket" do you mean [dead link removed]
Fog: Oh hey, this got missed somehow. Judging.
Fog: This is probably one of the most boring and slowest TASes I've ever seen. However, it looks optimal enough, so I'm accepting it to Vault.
