Okay, so I have to make a really stupid ass essay thing. Apparently, I can pick just about anything to write about, and the teacher was super vague when outlining how we were supposed to write it. So I took some liberties and, like I like, typed up some total nonsense about tool-assisted speedruns. I thought I'd post it here so you can rip it apart and tell me how stupid I am. Also, if possible, see if I missed somethig crucial that really needs to be said. It's not finished yet, but this is basically what the essay/article/assignment will be. Here goes.
Tool-assisted speedruns using emulators
What is a speedrun? What is an emulator? What does tool-assisted mean in this context? What is the meaning of life? This article will attempt to answer three of these questions, and maybe two or three other ones. (Then again, maybe not)
In the old days, computers didn’t exist. Then they existed. Or something something to that effect, at least. This article will not cover the extremely long process from non-existense to existense, or even the relatively quick process from existense to whatever it is we have today. Instead, it will assume you already possess all that knowledge and dive right into present time. Which brings us back to the the title.
Tool-assistedness
Tool-assistedness, as defined by the author, is the state of being assisted by tools. In the context of this article, it specifically refers to the tools provided by the emulators used to create the speedrun.
Whoa – slow down, buddy!
*ahem*
Before you can understand what a “tool-assisted speedrun using an emulator” means, you must first understand what the words “speedrun” and “emulator” mean.
This article will not pretend it isn’t ripping text directly from the internet, that infinite repository of useless misinformation, juvenile nonsense and a little bit of useful information. Instead, the following quote, and all other quotes that come after, comes with the following disclaimer: This quote is ripped directly from the internet.:
“A speedrun is a play-through of a computer or video game, in which the whole game or a select part of it, such as a single level, is played with the intent of completing it as quickly as possible, optionally with certain prerequisites, such as collecting every item available.” --Wikipedia
Now that it has been established what a speedrun is, we can move on to the next word on the list. Emulators.
“A software emulator allows computer programs to run on a platform (computer architecture and/or operating system) other than the one for which they were originally written. Unlike a simulation, which only attempts to reproduce a program's behavior, an emulation attempts to precisely model the state of the device being emulated.” --Wikipedia
Wow, it looks like we’re getting close. There’s just “tool-assisted” left. What exactly does that mean, anyway? Unfortunately there is no Wikipedia entry on tool-assistedness, so you’re going to have to read some more crappy, pretentious text by the author. Yes, he freely admits he is intentionally typing as much nonsense as possible with the aim of artificially inflating the length of this article. Whoa, that was a good one. Thirty-three words right there!
*Ahem*
So we have now established that a speedrun is a play-through of a game, and that an emulator is a software program that pretends to be something other than it is, namely some crazy hardware. There are many emulators available that emulate many different kinds of hardware. This article will only cover one specific emulator called FCEU, or FCE Ultra. It emulates the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), a popular 8-bit video game console released by Nintendo. Everyone in the world know what the NES is, so, even though it would further serve to increase the length of the article, thus requiring the author to write even less actual content, no further digression will be neccesary.
Get to the point, you silly person!
Hey, the author does not appreciate rudeness. Show some respect! Anyway, the point is that the emulator (FCEU) can emulate the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), then the virtual NES can run software originally designed to run on the original NES. That means the real, physical hardware. But the emulator doesn’t have to play by the rules of physics in the same way as the physical system does. The emulator can slow down time. It can stop time and even rewind. Since the entire NES system is now entirely made of software, anything is possible. Well, it can’t make tea yet, but that’s okay. Nobody drinks tea anyway.
Now, all the player needs to to to make a tool-assisted speedrun is to load up the emulator (FCEU), load the game software designed to run on the original system into the emulator, and he’s ready to play god. Well, not really. The player will still be limited on the input the system can receive, otherwise it wouldn’t be very fun, would it? The player simply playes the game very slowly (because the emulator is slowing down time), then rewinds whenever he makes a mistake. Actually, the part about the rewinding part was a lie. It’s not strictly rewinding per se, but more like saving and loading. The game software is completely oblivious to all of this and freely allows itself to be exploited into oblivion.
This would all be very useless if were not for the fact that, as this is all happening, the emulator logs into a file every key pressed while playing the game, and the time when it was pressed. Then, after the player has become bored (or worse), he can restart the game, and play the “keypress” file again. The emulator will now run the game and, at the same time, press the same keys as the buttons the player pressed while recording. The result is that the emulator re-enacts each move and every maneuver performed by the player in slow-motion in real-time. This can be quite a sight to behold as it looks like the game is being played with an exceedingly absurd level of skill compared with what would be practically possible for a human to do. The whole point of this tool-assistedness is to make speedruns that would be theoretically possible on a console, but far from practically possible.
Huh?
Okay, so maybe you don’t understand. That’s your problem. The rest of this article will be pointless fluff intended to bload the article just enough to be submittable.
*insert fluffy wuffy things here*
(that last part might get cut in the final version)
