Joined: 3/19/2005
Posts: 63
Location: SuPeRZzT LaNd
There's been this guy who keeps talking about that zone... Like you go there, and there's this door and there's a bunch of people there.. They're friends and stuff..
His name is pirate_sephiroth .. Not sure what happened to him. Like ever since he was placed under hypnosis by some guy who puts bumper stickers on his arm he's been going on and on and on about the dangers of the friendzone.. and how like unless you act a certain way you're there... like, it's impending doom or something.
So What are your opinions of the friend zone? Is it as spooky to you as it is to that guy who's half pirate half ff7 fanboi? I had another question but I backspaced it because ending a thread with too many questions is way too pretentious.. I guess I could end it with some of my thoughts..
Maybe he thinks it's like that Mortal Kombat II approach.. Where instead of just fatalities you've got babalities ... and of course FRIENDSHIP.. Personally I'd rather have Johnny Cage's autograph than an uppercut or ballpunch any day.
If you want to avoid getting friend-zoned and rather become a sociopath instead, I can very much recommend the [URL=www.fastseduction.com/discussion/]mASF[/URL]. As far as their logic goes, being friend-zoned isn't completely bad, as you could always convert the women that friend-zoned you into very potent wingmen! A better solution, in my opinion, is to stop caring so much and stop overdramatizing the events that occur to you in your real life. Also, don't ever overidealize women you don't really know all too well anyway. Instead of rating them based on their looks, I recommend practicing to accept them for who they really are.
Joined: 5/1/2004
Posts: 4096
Location: Rio, Brazil
Friendzone is when attempting to find a mate fails, so It's bound to happen, unless you're some sort of Don Juan (or in celibacy).
The problem is if you stick to trying to convert the girl who decided to just be your friend. Like kuwaga said, you might get the conversion, but the chances of you wasting your time are high. There are many girls out there, try another.
Joined: 11/22/2004
Posts: 1468
Location: Rotterdam, The Netherlands
Complaining about being "friend zoned" is pretty childish, I'd say. If someone doesn't want to have sex with you, what does that mean? That you should stop being friends? If that's true, then that speaks a great deal about the way you view people—not as equals whose companionship you enjoy and feelings you take into account, but just as people you're eventually just going to want to have sex with. If you don't view people as more than that, that's your loss.
edit: apparently that's not what we're talking about here. Oh well.
edit: apparently it is.
"Genuine self-esteem, however, consists not of causeless feelings, but of certain knowledge about yourself.
It rests on the conviction that you — by your choices, effort and actions — have made yourself into the
kind of person able to deal with reality. It is the conviction — based on the evidence of your own volitional
functioning — that you are fundamentally able to succeed in life and, therefore, are deserving of that success."
- Onkar Ghate
Bisqwit wrote:
This is a humorous pic from that Chive series: http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/friend-zone-44.jpg
Anyway, the problem with typical thinking about the friend zone is that it assumes that if the guy had only done things differently, the gal would naturally end up falling for him; it denies the essential agency of women.
Complaining about being "friend zoned" is pretty childish, I'd say. If someone doesn't want to have sex with you, what does that mean? That you should stop being friends? If that's true, then that speaks a great deal about the way you view people—not as equals whose companionship you enjoy and feelings you take into account, but just as people you're eventually just going to want to have sex with. If you don't view people as more than that, that's your loss.
You're demonizing sex and someone's craving for sex with these word choices. If someone is looking for a relationship that includes sex, it doesn't mean it's the only criteria, nor is it any better or worse than any other criteria until you placed judgement on it. If someone else doesn't want sex, then following that relationship isn't going to be fulfilling for them.
I agree that complaining about being friend-zoned is childish, but for a different reason than you. Instead of settling for an unfulfilling relationship just so you don't seem shallow to observers like yourself, the mature thing to do is to respect yourself enough to move on and find a relationship that is what you're really looking for.
<Swordless> Go hug a tree, you vegetarian (I bet you really are one)
Anyway, the problem with typical thinking about the friend zone is that it assumes that if the guy had only done things differently, the gal would naturally end up falling for him; it denies the essential agency of women.
Does she fall for other guys, who do things differently? Probably. Why wouldn't she fall for you, if you did the same things? I think she would.
Sure, some other things can affect attraction, for example looks. It is my opinion that looks have less influence on attraction than for example attitiude and behaviour.
It works just as well with the roles reversed, by the way. It isn't about how women are.
Joined: 2/28/2006
Posts: 2275
Location: Milky Way -> Earth -> Brazil
ITT:
"Genuine self-esteem, however, consists not of causeless feelings, but of certain knowledge about yourself.
It rests on the conviction that you — by your choices, effort and actions — have made yourself into the
kind of person able to deal with reality. It is the conviction — based on the evidence of your own volitional
functioning — that you are fundamentally able to succeed in life and, therefore, are deserving of that success."
- Onkar Ghate
Bisqwit wrote:
Complaining about being "friend zoned" is pretty childish, I'd say.
I partially agree. However, if you get the "let's just be friends" speech a lot, chances are you're doing something wrong.
Anyways, I have received very few "let's be friends" speeches when it comes to dating. Either the girl stops taking my calls and avoids me like the plague. (Vast majority of the time) Or else we have a sexual relationship.
I think the point is to make it clear what you're looking for with the girl. That doesn't mean verbalizing it so much as showing it with your body language and general behavior around her. If you act like just a Platonic friend, then there's a very good chance she will treat you that way, too.
If you act like someone interested in a romantic relationship, she will make a choice about you as such.
I'd say the if you get friend-zoned, consider yourself lucky. At least you have some social relationships with other people. There are people who aren't even friend-zoned because they don't have friends of the opposite sex (or the same sex if that's what floats your boat) at all.
I'd say the if you get friend-zoned, consider yourself lucky. At least you have some social relationships with other people. There are people who aren't even friend-zoned because they don't have friends of the opposite sex (or the same sex if that's what floats your boat) at all.
Your post makes me sad.
Sage advice from a friend of Jim: So put your tinfoil hat back in the closet, open your eyes to the truth, and realize that the government is in fact causing austismal cancer with it's 9/11 fluoride vaccinations of your water supply.
Joined: 2/28/2006
Posts: 2275
Location: Milky Way -> Earth -> Brazil
"Genuine self-esteem, however, consists not of causeless feelings, but of certain knowledge about yourself.
It rests on the conviction that you — by your choices, effort and actions — have made yourself into the
kind of person able to deal with reality. It is the conviction — based on the evidence of your own volitional
functioning — that you are fundamentally able to succeed in life and, therefore, are deserving of that success."
- Onkar Ghate
Bisqwit wrote:
This book is terrible and exactly what leads people to thinking they're perpetually in the "friend zone". If anyone wants I can write a long detailed post about why it's terrible, but it shouldn't be necessary. The book talks about how women are inherently inferior and submissive to men, and how to best exploit them for sex.
Arflech got it right by saying that the friend zone theory denies the agency of women. Remember that women are people, not vending machines with "insert flirtation, receive sex". The idea that they're foreign entities, to be dealt with through beep-boop instructions rather than talking to women like people, is ultimately sexist and goes to bad places.
The sad but true fact is that nerds are a sexist bunch. Has a woman published a TAS here in the last five years? The stereotype that video games are for guys has become more true over the years, as sexism against women pushes them away from our hobbies. I know lots of women who are computer programmers, great Magic: The Gathering players, and all-around total geeks. They all feel driven out of these hobbies because they see an all-male forum talking about their friendzone-proof female-attraction methods.
We can avoid driving away half of our potential players. The community will be much stronger. Just remember that women are regular people, and support feminism because some people still don't think treat women as equals.
This book is terrible and exactly what leads people to thinking they're perpetually in the "friend zone". If anyone wants I can write a long detailed post about why it's terrible, but it shouldn't be necessary. The book talks about how women are inherently inferior and submissive to men, and how to best exploit them for sex.
Arflech got it right by saying that the friend zone theory denies the agency of women. Remember that women are people, not vending machines with "insert flirtation, receive sex". The idea that they're foreign entities, to be dealt with through beep-boop instructions rather than talking to women like people, is ultimately sexist and goes to bad places.
The sad but true fact is that nerds are a sexist bunch. Has a woman published a TAS here in the last five years? The stereotype that video games are for guys has become more true over the years, as sexism against women pushes them away from our hobbies. I know lots of women who are computer programmers, great Magic: The Gathering players, and all-around total geeks. They all feel driven out of these hobbies because they see an all-male forum talking about their friendzone-proof female-attraction methods.
We can avoid driving away half of our potential players. The community will be much stronger. Just remember that women are regular people, and support feminism because some people still don't think treat women as equals.
The stereotype that video games are for guys has become more true over the years, as sexism against women pushes them away from our hobbies.
How, exactly, are people eg. here sexist, and exactly how is this alleged sexism pushing women away?
If you are going to call people sexist, you'd better back up your claims.
BTW, for those who didn't get it
